Q:Describe a problem you've solved or a problem you'd like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma-anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.
A:Their soft, fluffy goodness will not be confined to four measly bites! The King of lunchtime snacks will not be limited by the cost-cutting procedures of the corporate agenda! My palate will settle at nothing less than five, yes five, bites of perfection! If you are still contemplating the subject of this call to arms, then your taste buds have failed you miserably. I speak of the glorious Entenmann’s Little Bites.
These are no ordinary snacks, but rather a mixture of sugar, flour and euphoria. Opposition will cry out “First World Problems”, and in response I say, stop war, stop fighting, and join opposing sides under the flag of the five-pack. A great leader of a revolution once proclaimed “I Have a Dream”, and I too have a dream, that one day my children will be able to reach through the threshold of the timeless brown paper bag, rip through the “tear here” gateway, and experience the eighth wonder of the world, five times over.
My fellow Americans, the solution is clear. We must call on the suits in the District to put aside their partisan divides and unite for universal tastiness; however, if our elected lawmakers cannot complete this monumental task (pause for dramatic effect) then we must secede from this crumbled Union! We must unite not under the Stars and Stripes, but rather the Stars and Bites!
No. No. No. Forget the waiting. Forget the legislative process. I, Barret Ian Rus, at this very moment, hereby declare the Kingdom of Bitelandia. This nation will stand on the shoulders of great civilizations that graced this Earth long ago. Bitelandia’s Constitution will read “We the People of the Bites, for the Bites, will only eat from the five-pack.”
Now is the time to rise. Now is the time to fight for your rights. Now is the time to end this crisis. Be the Bites! Eat the Bites! Join the Revolution! (Drops mic and walks off stage)