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Common App Essay Choice 3

Page history last edited by Barret Rus 5 years, 2 months ago

Q:Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

A:I looked past the thick trunked palm tree with the missing leaf, past the blooming orange flowers and moved towards the pineapple grove full of fresh fruit just waiting to be eaten. No, today wasn’t a pineapple day. Two remain. Flamingos or camels? I closed my eyes, spun around once and pointed. Flamingos.

It was the first day of junior year and I was choosing the all-important first day outfit. I had recently come to the stark realization a few weeks earlier that I was a man with no style, no pizazz, no immediate wow factor. I understood that I could easily impress through my actions and accomplishments, but I wanted to put something in place that amaze people on first glance. So, I revamped my wardrobe. As I looked at my closet on that first day I was looking at a closet consisting almost entirely of the fashion icon of balding fifty year old men, Hawaiian shirts. Yellow ones, blue ones, and white ones decorated with exotic fruits and beach paraphernalia. On that particular day, part by elimination, part by chance the flamingo Hawaiian shirt was my wingman.

I walked the two blocks to my bus stop in the flamingo Hawaiian shirt, salmon colored shorts, and flip-flops. The flip-flops were a last minute decision, but I determined that I was going to go with the Hawaiian look, then I might as well go all the way. The response I got from the kids at my bus stop was as cold as the temperature on that late August day. I was starting to get nervous. Was this big fashion reveal a huge mistake? The school bus pulled with its usual creak and groan and I realized that there was no going back. My first day of junior year was going to be a tropical one, whether I liked it or not.

The blank stares I received while on the bus did little to improve my disposition. I wondered if my tropical top had been lost in the sea of all the new first day outfits. I grudgingly got off the bus and walked to my first period class. That’s when my day got as bright and sunny as the tropical landscapes depicted on my shirts. Everyone loved the new shirt, and it was a perfect way to kick off the year.        

After this first day success, I determined that I would make the Hawaiian shirt my signature clothing item. Whenever the latest shoe craze or clothing trend arose I look at myself in mirror and see my flamingos, my camels, my off colored exotic fruit, and I am content. The Hawaiian shirt has been brought into almost all facets of my life. Other than being a super cool clothing item to rock at school, the Hawaiian shirt has been my wingman at many events, serious and not serious. I has become an awesome conservation starter at parties and the perfect way to lighten the mood at important interviews.   

In a fast paced world with people always trying to get ahead, sometimes it is nice to slip on a Hawaiian shirt, forget your worries, and relax. Trust me, nothing beats the feeling of keeping it tropical!





Comments (2)

shap.luke@yahoo.com said

at 11:23 am on Oct 1, 2015

I love the first paragraph and how you make it seem like you are in an environment with all of these random things in your field of view. It confuses the reader and makes them want to read more. I know it is a laid back essay but i feel like you should still stray away from contractions. It is effective that you show self reflection in the second paragraph, but you should add more towards the end about how the shirts give you more confidence and poise. It being your "wingman" is a great comparison, but you should maybe include a concrete example of you using it to catch someone's attention rather than mentioning hypothetical instances.

Suhaila Tenly said

at 11:29 am on Oct 1, 2015

Love the specificity and detail here. Your personality also shines. Clean it up in terms of grammar and sentence structure a bit to make it clearer, but content-wise it's good.

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